"This isn't just goodbye, this is I can't stand you."
"It's 3AM, I must be lonely..."
I am not the type of person to force a relationship with anybody, whether it be friendship or otherwise. I think that forcing friendship contradicts the definition of it. You should want to hang out, be there for them, and just see them in general. And if you don't feel that way, it's not friendship. Period. If you force those feelings, it only makes you resent that person, consciously or unconsciously.
I've had 5 best friends throughout my life. All different girls, all different times. Each one managed to hurt me in a new and fresh way. After number four, I decided to give up on "best friends." I'm not good at it. I didn't know if I was a shitty best friend, or if I picked shitty best friends. Or maybe a combination. The only thing different this time is that I know I didn't pick a shitty best friend. I know it's me this time.
So maybe I changed too much, or maybe you grew out of me. Maybe. Maybe you just want a break. I don't think friendships (or relationships, for that matter) should have to go through breaks. It just starts one endless cycle of "ons" and "offs." Believe me. I would know. If you don't want it, okay. Nobody would blame you. And you wouldn't have to worry about me, because I've become some kind of expert at cutting people out of my life. I can handle it. I know what to do, how to do it, and how to pretend. I can handle it.
So the ball is in your court, but if you don't play soon, I'm leaving the game. And I think you know that I want it back, but I will be the last person to ask for a second chance.
I'm not going to end this with some big apology for "anything I've done to offend you." I think those are stupid, because you never actually know what you're apologizing for. That makes it meaningless. So if I need to apologize for something, tell me, and I will. And I'll mean it.
But I won't force it.
I am not the type of person to force a relationship with anybody, whether it be friendship or otherwise. I think that forcing friendship contradicts the definition of it. You should want to hang out, be there for them, and just see them in general. And if you don't feel that way, it's not friendship. Period. If you force those feelings, it only makes you resent that person, consciously or unconsciously.
I've had 5 best friends throughout my life. All different girls, all different times. Each one managed to hurt me in a new and fresh way. After number four, I decided to give up on "best friends." I'm not good at it. I didn't know if I was a shitty best friend, or if I picked shitty best friends. Or maybe a combination. The only thing different this time is that I know I didn't pick a shitty best friend. I know it's me this time.
So maybe I changed too much, or maybe you grew out of me. Maybe. Maybe you just want a break. I don't think friendships (or relationships, for that matter) should have to go through breaks. It just starts one endless cycle of "ons" and "offs." Believe me. I would know. If you don't want it, okay. Nobody would blame you. And you wouldn't have to worry about me, because I've become some kind of expert at cutting people out of my life. I can handle it. I know what to do, how to do it, and how to pretend. I can handle it.
So the ball is in your court, but if you don't play soon, I'm leaving the game. And I think you know that I want it back, but I will be the last person to ask for a second chance.
I'm not going to end this with some big apology for "anything I've done to offend you." I think those are stupid, because you never actually know what you're apologizing for. That makes it meaningless. So if I need to apologize for something, tell me, and I will. And I'll mean it.
But I won't force it.
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